Guess who's back, back again.

I enjoy taking a leave of absence from the blog world. Mainly b/c I forget I have a blog.

A couple of weeks a go I took the day off to go to the beach. I am typically not a beach girl, I enjoy the mountains more. But the california girl in me was randomly craving the beach and solitude. I grabbed some books, a towel, a chair and headed west. As I was at the beach, shivering slightly (its January....its chilly!) I began thinking about my next step in life. I journaled for awhile, walked up and down the beach, forced my feet to embrace the freezing water, and remained silent. I felt totally calm as I considered what this year may have in store for me. One of the more dominating reasons that I moved back to CA was because I was ready to start a family. No this isn't a blog saying I'm knocked up. Since I was a young teenager I have talked about adopting, and that was long before I found out that I probably wouldn't be able to have my own biological children.

So while at the beach I decided I will give myself 6 months. 6 months of just praying, researching, and reflecting what to do. After those 6 months, if I still have a peace about it, I will begin the foster/adopt process. Some people may think 6 months isn't very long to make a life time decision. True, but it hasn't been just 6 months for me, it has been years. Others may say how it is not conventional for a single woman to raise a child on their own. Well... I say it is not conventional for children to tossed around in foster care. I am not a very secure girl about most things in my life, but I am FULLY secure in knowing that I will be a rock star mom. Not perfect, not even stupid mary poppins was perfect, but I know I can do it.
Will I need help? Of course! This is why I am back in CA to be around my family, friends, support group.
Adoption consumes my daily thoughts, and even my dreams. Some times I can even invision my child. I have been doing so much research on this topic, and I have so much more to do. As any parents should do really.
June is going to be an exciting month.